Daughters in Marriage

My wife and I sat reading aloud “Pride and Prejudice” by Jane Austin to one another one evening this week. The most famously quoted lines of her book come from the opening paragraph. In this opening we find Mrs. Bennett speaking to Mr. Bennett upon the occasion of a wealthy gentleman who has moved to Netherfield Park, "It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife." Their own situation is that of five unmarried daughters and no sons. From one perspective the reader may be frustrated by this anxious, frantic and silly mother who seeks her fortune and that of her daughters among single unmarried men who must be in want of a wife from among her daughters or by the indifference, silence and often lacking leadership on the part of her husband . But on the other hand one may be delighted in the providence of God in the unfolding of the story of relationships and marriage and the joys and sorrows that accompany them. I heartily recommend this book to men and women alike.

But it is not about Pride and Prejudice that I write, rather it is about the thought of unmarried daughters. I have four. And it is about single men in possession of good fortunes that I write in the interest of my daughters and the host of covenant daughters we have being raised up under the roof of our church at Redeemer Presbyterian Church. While reading Numbers 36 this morning I was struck by the liberty given to the daughters of Israel within the confines of the law as it regards to marriage. In that chapter there is a concern over the transfer of inheritance from one tribe to another through marriage. They like Mrs. Bennett were concerned not only for their daughters but it would seem their fortunes as well. And there was the possibility of losing that inheritance through marriage, by the way is another important theme in Pride and Prejudice. But it is in the midst of the judgment that Moses gives in this context that I found this liberty protected by law. In 36:6 Moses says, “This is what the LORD commands concerning the daughters of Zelophehad, ‘Let them marry whom they think best, only they shall marry within the clan of the tribe of their father.” The liberty is expressed in telling them they can marry whoever they think is best. The Law is expressed in only let that person be in the clan of the tribe of their fathers. The liberty gives them freedom to choose and the law constrains and protects their freedom according to God’s own will. This was good not only for the daughters but for the daughters love expressed to God in trust and their love expressed to their family in doing what would be best for them in the days of the sharing of their inheritance with those yet to come.

Our daughters have the same liberty and law given them in the New Testament under the New Covenant. The context is different in that the inheritance is an eternal life in the Son and all that the Son possesses among the nations, not a particular plot in Israel. And the Holy Spirit is the guarantee of that inheritance not a clan member or a man in possession of a good fortune. The liberty is given in Christ Jesus where everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial (1Cor.6:12; 10:23). The daughters of the New Covenant may marry whom they think best. But the best is in accord with the knowledge, righteousness and holiness that they now have and hope for in Christ. The liberty is not a license to sin so that grace may increase, but the liberty is freedom from the bondage and dominion of sin to live in the freedom and glory of Christ in all things. Therefore the liberty is not given for the triumph of sin and lust, but for the glory of God in lives that treasure Christ more than they treasure single men of good fortune or good looks. This is why law is given with liberty in Christ Jesus commanding our daughters not be unequally yoked (2Cor.6:14). These daughters in the New Covenant have taken the yoke of Jesus upon themselves (Mt.11:29) and have been united together with him in his body. Therefore the law of love to our daughters is not to divide the body of Christ by being united in one flesh with one outside of the body of Christ. This law is obeyed by all who love Christ more than they love a single man of good fortune or good looks (Jn.14:15). And she will exercise her liberty in the confines of this law so that she will demonstrate in the liberty a greater treasuring of her true husbandman who brings her into a true inheritance than the treasuring of a single man with promise.

It is the responsibility of fathers and mothers not to be indifferent and silent or anxious and silly toward our daughters and their potential husbands. Rather we must discipline and nurture them to the love of their Lord that they will delight in his liberty and law as they seek to make a decision about a man who will bring them into their true inheritance as a bride ready for Christ their true husbandman.