Confessions of Weakness

Confessions of a Weak Pastor

We grow up dreaming of being strong so that we can do the great things of those who possess strength. I always dreamed of being bigger and stronger than I was. I spent several years of my life at fifty two pounds and it cost me a starting position on the tug-o-war team at Field Day. I spent all my high school years with the lowest weight on the football roster and all my time in vain trying to be, pound for pound, the strongest on the team.. I spent my first years of college in the weight room rather than the library seeking strength of muscle rather than knowledge. I have carried this desire for strength and glory into all my vocations and have found that I am not strong but weak. But my desire for strength to do the great things of those who are strong is a disillusioned pursuit, for it is the weak and frail who find strength.

While wrestling with my own weakness this morning and confessing my sorrow for this weakness to my wife I read the words of the Psalmist, “O Lord, make me no my end and what is the measure of my days; let me know how fleeting I am! Behold you have made my days a few handbreadths, and my lifetime is nothing before you. Surely all mankind stands as a mere breath.” It is good for me to find my weakness, frailty and fleeting life in the presence of the Almighty God. It is in weakness that I find the glory of his strength. It is in frailty that I find the glory of his majesty. It is in a fleeting life that I find the glory of his infinite and eternal nature. This is the mystery and glory of living in Christ. As the apostle Paul said to the Corinthian church as he struggled with strength and weakness, “But he [Christ] said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly in my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then I am content with weaknesses.” Therefore when I am brought into the presence of my glorious Lord by my weakness I can glory in his strength. I will rest content in his strength today while I am weak and hope that in the rest I find more contentment with weakness that I may see more of his glory and be used for his glory. As Wanda Goodall Dalke has said,

“I have no gift but weakness
To give to him today
No mighty deeds of valor,
No majestic words to say
But Lord, who uses weak things
To accomplish your great task,
Please use me to your glory,
That is all that I could ask.”